I'm a growing kid

OMG somebody just whack me with a hammer or something. for the past three days, I think I have spent a total of more than 50 bucks on cab fares every single goddam morning. WTP!

it's only because I work late night to earn more money that I oversleep for my day job and rush there in a cab and because I spent the money I work on cab fares, I have to work late nights to earn more money that I oversleep for my day job and rush there in a cab...

you get what I mean.

on a random note, PRINCE CASPIAN tonight! not to mention the ever lovely SHERIDAN! I can't wait ;D

When was the last time you made a drastic change to your personal style (i.e., wardrobe, hairstyle, etc.)? What did you do? 
Submitted by miyna. 

it could be about three years ago when I rebonded my hair. I have always wanted straight hair since my hair is really bad and my hairstyle seemed like the same for years. so I decided to do a hair makeover and rebonded my hair, dyed it brown and highlighted it red. the whole process took seven hours of my saturday. ho ho.

hair aside, when it comes to wardrobe, I guess about a couple of few months ago. I started this whole thing about looking at girly clothings. it is kinda scary when I think of it but is this change good or bad? furthermore, who is it really for? it's not totally for me, that I know. it's just that I can be a such a flow-er that I just tend to change whenever the environment does.

scary, isn't it?

the temporary cure for bad depression with be a chilling session with the girls.

jo messaged me and apparently, we were both pretty depressed (HAHA SISTER) so I suggested a chilling session, and, yeah, ignoring my work as usual. I can't help it. desperate times call for desperate measures. I was pretty desperate, seriously. stuck at home all saturday with depressing thoughts really took it's toll on my body. I ate practically nothing all day. (it's a good way to lose weight, seriously.)

so she called up poi and we met at lido. after sitting there with silence filled with conversations every now and then, I suggested going somewhere else. poi brought in hard rock cafe. apparently, none of us has been there before. so I went, well, why not go together? (:

but before that, we stopped by galleria and went round to the alcohol section, getting pretty lost and looking pretty dumb along the way. gawd, the salesgirl must've thought we were giggling secondary school kids or something. I guess that's what happens when you put the three of us together.

the baileys there are so pretty! *sighs* I wish for a lovely caramel bottle ^_^ what a pity we couldn't find peach vodka. I bet we would've nicked a bottle at this rate ;D ooh! and I saw the lovely thin ice wine! I wish I could try.

then we saw this amazing bag that I was pretty attracted to because of the design. I was seriously contemplating getting one of the nice handbags when I found out it cost around 200$ to 300$ odd o_O OMG they are trying to kill me seriously.

we went down to the makeup section and this was the first time both jo and I stayed so long at the makeup department! o_O we did have fun trying out the eye shadow, lip gloss, eye liner... :P (I think I can't wash it off with my facial wash, apparently.)

we finally left for hard rock cafe only to have poi leading us the wrong way (-_-") I mean, seriously. well, we got there, had a table and shared a sex on the beach, jumbo combo and chocolate peanut butter crunch. tab came to a total of 16$ each. shoots. there goes my money ): and I was so tempted to get that six shots for 30$! not to mention I get a claim to fame ;)

maybe next time if someone'll bring me there ;D

chatting with jappo is truly entertaining. and we barely know each other! seriously.

anyway, met up with poi after stoning in school. ate maccas at ps, then we walked to the back of ps/bugis to bencoolen area and checked out this korean store that sold korean products. was so tempted to get the chocolate pretzel gift pack for my sister but it cost like, what, 23$. oh man. money suckers.

then, we wanted to sit and slack. initially, we thought of heading to tcc but neither of us wanted to buy anything from there. so we settled for bean curd (: which was nice and cold but I was sleepy and it's hard dozing off on a coffee store table.

so we walked over to 7-eleven and had ice cream (: yummy! but crap. binged again. I hate this. WISH I COULD STOP EATING OR SOMETHING.

and, oh! ix and ericia came to eat again. second time I saw them at the workplace. haha. ix looked like he just came from a jog. and ericia is so skinny-pretty! darn. makes me look fat all over again. ho hum :|

What are your top 10 most-played songs currently?

1. won't go home without you by maroon 5
2. little wonders by rob thomas
   
3. all around me by flyleaf
   
4. misery by good charlotte
5. misery business by paramore
6. hands down by dashboard confessional (I know! what an old song!)
7. tony the beat by the sounds
   
8. fistful of sand by the bravery
9. night after night (bonus version) by the sounds
   
10. through glass by stone sour
    

I guess since with the hacking of the site and all, I've nowhere but here to blog. ho hum.

was abandoned by the sister in the afternoon because I canceled on her because of an impulsive plan with him but after he canceled on me (it wasn't his fault, really), I tried to salvage the situation with the sister but I guess she's just a lazy bummer. oh well.

so I had to go around town on my own. not that I mind, actually. I used to walk alone in town before. I guess I get a lot of weird stares like why-the-hell-is-she-in-town-alone? that kind of thing. anyway, I was browsing through some emily strange shirts and was about to leave heeren's flash and splash when I caught sight of jappo. (I think it's the hair, really.)

not wanting to actually catch her attention, I was about to leave when I turned back (whyohwhydiditurnback?) and I saw serene. hooha. they asked me if I was alone and I replied the affirmative. so they invited me to join them. how sweet (:

it was a tad awkward, initially. I mean, I know serene because she's ray gege's girlfriend. and I know jappo because... well, she's quite hard to miss (HAHA). anyway, it was a pleasant afternoon walking around heeren, cineleisure, and back to heeren's spinelli to sit down since our feet were killing us.

my goodness. I think it's something to do with canoe polo girls because they remind me of my own teammates! even though it was two of them plus myself, we could laugh out loud, talk, gossip (a tad) and just laugh all over again. jappo is seriously entertaining. sheena came by a while later with a friend. they left after a moment to get tickets to fantastic 4. serene and jappo joined them and we parted ways since I needed to head for work.

what more can I say? I am losing you. again.

no matter how I've begged and tried, I guess it only makes it seem like I'm harassing you. perhaps you're irritated. perhaps you're tired of me. perhaps you don't even want to get back after all. perhaps this is just a scheme by everyone. and now they're all laughing at me.

why can't you wait with me for five months?

I really do. I just wish I can explain my actions. but I can't. I know they always say the same things. but I'm different. I really did not mean it. I did not mean to. I want to say it wasn't really me. but am I equally deceiving myself? I wish I can explain my actions. but that means bringing out the same old hurt.

but how can we clear what's between us? you see things one way. and I want to make amends. I'm trying so hard. I don't want to give up. do you want me to give you up? I can't bear it. I really love you. I really do. I don't know what went to me the other time. maybe it was the lack of something.

now that I lost something, I realised that I could not lose it. so, please, will you just reconsider? will you do ask I request? I believe. I really do. and if you do, please have a little more faith? I know I've wronged you in great ways. but I believe I can make it. I really believe it. I really won't go back on my word.

I won't make the same mistake twice.

please, Sweet. I love you so. I can't lose you again.

as far as I can recall, I've always been a jack of all trades and master of none. I like various things and take an interest in different stuff. but even though I pick up something from time to time, I never have enough love for that particular thing or hobby, nor do I have the time to continue pursuing it. and thus, after a period of time, it kind of fades.

but every now and then, it still returns.

like, take drumming for instance. I have always wanted to learn drumming since I was 10. but there does not seem to be anyone who is able to teach me. it was not till I met my classmate in polytechnic and started about, oh, let's see. three measly lessons? yeah, and that's it. no more time nor effort to go for lessons or to arrange a drumming session with my classmate.

where was I? oh, yes. drumming. anyway, every now and then, when I hear a certain song with really interesting drumbeats, my hands and feet tend to tap in rhythm, trying to catch those quick snares and loud bases. not forgetting the crashes, too.

I really want to go back drumming. but I don't have the time. nor do I have the resources.

anyway, as my title suggests, yes, jack of all trades. so I end up being average at everything and not really good at one or certain things.

what leads to this post is because I realised that I really want to be a good canoe polo player. initially, I've trained for the position as a chaser. and because my team does not have a sub-keeper, I decided to take on that post as well because, well, I guess I'm the next best candidate out of the whole team.

and after training for both positions for some time, our coach comes and tells me that he wants to put me as a zoner.

when I heard that a couple of months ago, my heart just sank. because not only did I not want to become a zoner, my coach looked at me as one. I guess that's why I'm not the best chaser nor the best keeper at the moment.

I'm babbling. there is so much more I want to say. but words does not suffice at the moment.

I am chatting with gary now. perhaps he can be a some sort of comfort. for tonight, that is.

and I had a lousy eve to begin. thanks a lot. I know that you've apologised and all that but I guess I'm being petty. yes, I'm still being retarded but I can't help it. I can't change immediately, can I? I just wished you had shown more remorse. then perhaps I'll direct my anger towards myself.